The word ‘divorce’ has many negative connotations. Going through a divorce can be a time of hurt and stress for all involved. However, if the right approach to the divorce can be taken by both parties, it does not have to be as negative and difficult as one may automatically assume.
A divorce can be ‘good’ and go smoothly if handled with a measure of understanding and some compromise. Here is some basic guidance on things to do and what to avoid:
DO
- Try mediation
Mediation is a helpful and non-confrontational tool to discuss and reach an agreement regarding financial matters and/or children matters without having to go through the Court.
- Provide full financial disclosure
The Court takes a very dim view of parties dissipating or not disclosing financial assets.
Dragging your heels about providing disclosure only prolongs matters and prevents you from moving forward.
- Put the children first
The Court will always consider the children’s well-being to be of paramount importance when deciding financial matters in a divorce. Think about how to provide best for your children before thinking about what you want for yourself.
- Keep communicating
Try to communicate without getting angry or passing blame. If direct communication becomes difficult it may be better to leave it to the solicitors or only communicate via email.
Try not to communicate late at night or when you are feeling emotional.
Try to keep communications as neutral as possible.
If you want something to change (particularly in relation to children) try to explain the reasoning behind this.
DON’T
- Make sweeping statements or accusations
This will only upset the other party and increase the tension between you both.
- Delay in responding to court orders or solicitor’s letters
A prompt response keeps matters moving forward and keeps legal fees to a minimum.
Failing to provide information to the Court will hinder the process and reflect negatively on you.
- Involve the children
Keep children protected from divorce proceedings.
Don’t put down the other person in front of your children.
Don’t behave in a way that forces the child to take a side.
Stay positive about time the child spends with your spouse.
- Ignore what is happening
Whilst it may be tempting to hope everything will just go away, particularly if you do not want to get divorced, burying your head in the sand will not help. If your spouse has filed for a divorce the marriage is over, as much as you may wish it were otherwise; refusing to cooperate will only prolong the process and make matters more painful for you.
The Family Law Company’s ethos is to try to take a non-adversarial approach when conducting matrimonial matters. The key to a good divorce is remaining as amicable as possible with your spouse throughout proceedings and keeping communication fair and polite.
We are available to help and your first appointment is always free. If you require further information or advice in respect of this or any other family matter, please contact us on 01392 421777.
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