The short answer is no, you don’t – but as with many things in co-parenting, a little thoughtfulness can go a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship for everyone involved. Our Director and Children Lawyer, Amelia Davey, shares some advice for co-parents around this issue.
Using babysitters or having sleepovers when you’re separated.
As the parent with care at the time, the law trusts you to use your parental responsibility to make safe and sensible decisions for your child. In most cases, the parent with care of the child can make these arrangements without needing permission from the other parent. Whether it’s hiring a babysitter for an evening out or allowing your child to have a sleepover at a friend’s house, you are trusted to make safe and appropriate choices for your child.
This extends to arrangements with wider family members, like grandparents, aunts and uncles. Courts generally support a child maintaining relationships with extended family, so arranging for your child to spend time with them – even for a sleepover – is considered normal and beneficial.
Should you let the other parent know?
While there’s no legal obligation to inform the other parent about a babysitter or sleepover, it’s worth thinking about how you’d feel if the roles were reversed. Would you want to know if your child was staying somewhere overnight?
In most cases, a quick heads-up can go a long way in maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship. A simple message like, “Just so you know, [Child’s Name] is having a sleepover at [Friend’s Name]’s house this Friday,” can prevent unnecessary misunderstandings.
How often is too often?
There’s no set limit to how often your child can attend sleepovers or be cared for by babysitters. However, if it’s happening regularly and significantly impacts the time your child spends directly in your care, it might be worth reconsidering your arrangements.
For example, if a court order grants you weekend contact, but your child spends most of that time with a grandparent or babysitter instead of you, it could raise concerns. In such cases, the other parent might question whether the arrangement serves your child’s best interests, especially if they’re available and willing to care for the child themselves.
What about parties or sleepovers during the other parents contact?
This is a common question. Generally, the answer is no – these events shouldn’t override scheduled contact time. If your child has their heart set on a party or sleepover, you could work together with the other parent to make it happen. Being flexible is crucial.
You could offer to adjust the schedule or swap weekends so your child doesn’t have to miss out. It’s all about striking a balance between maintaining routine and supporting your child’s social life and happiness.
Every family situation is unique, and what works for one might not work for another. The most important thing is keeping your child’s wellbeing at the heart of every decision. Open communication with the other parent, where possible, can make things smoother and help avoid unnecessary conflict.
At The Family Law Company, we understand that co-parenting can be challenging, and we’re here to help if you need advice or support. If you have questions about your rights and responsibilities or want to discuss a specific situation, don’t hesitate to get in touch.
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